Parents… take a few minutes to relax and laugh at these tweets!
Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell.
After: get them to put on pants.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) November 29, 2016
Mom 1: That's my little boy on first base
Mom 2: Mine's pitching.
Me: That's my son spinning around in the outfield singing "Let it Go".
— Nix ? (@LaLuchaNix) September 7, 2016
wife *feels bad for feeding the kids chicken nuggets 3 times this week*
kids: THIS IS THE BEST WEEK OF OUR LIVES!
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 2, 2017
A bright side to having kids is that if I'm ever trapped in my car I have 3 years worth of half-empty water bottles and goldfish to live on.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) July 22, 2015
I'm taking the hunger games approach to summer: stay outside all day kids and I'll see one of you later. May the odds be ever in your favor
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) June 16, 2016
— Toby Price (@jedipadmaster) May 29, 2017
One minute it's fine to put your stuff on the curb with a free sign the next it's all ma'am you can't leave your kids here.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) June 2, 2017
Parents: STOP IT! I'VE ASKED YOU 20 TIMES!
Kids: [Alright, just one more time to see what they will do.]
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 1, 2017
7yo: "Can you play the 'juice box' song?"
7yo: "It goes 'I love rock and roll! Put another dime in the juice box, baby!'"
— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) April 3, 2017
Legit couldn't find my kid for 10 minutes during a game of hide and seek. Yes I was trying. Her room was just that messy.
— Jennifer Borget (@JenniferBorget) May 25, 2017
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