These are the tweets that have us laughing the hardest this week.
Me, to 4y.o: "Let me wipe you before you get back in the bath; we don't want germs."
4y.o: "That's ok; I already peed in it."
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 22, 2017
Let's get married & have kids so they can pick some animated garbage for movie night & you can look at memes on your phone while I doze off.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 23, 2017
My parents, 2017:
"Put down your phone and hang out with your kids."
My parents, 1989:
"Shhh, not now, we're watching TV."
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) July 22, 2017
7-year-old: Which of us is your favorite?
Me: I love all my kids equally.
7: Blink if it's me.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 29, 2017
Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it's a dead body.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 22, 2017
You have -4 min to cook. Your ingredients are:
An apple w/ 1 bite out of it
Chicken you didn't thaw
– Chopped: Moms Edition
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) July 25, 2017
Newsflash KIDS: The woman who paid for the fries gets to "steal" as many as she wants.
— Burning Mom (@MomOnFire) July 29, 2017
[home while family's away]
Husband: The kids keep asking to FaceTime you
H: They say they really miss their toys and wanna see them
— hannahannahannah (@MUMSIEesq) July 30, 2017
Kids can be so unpredictable.
You never know if your "Good Morning" will be met with a smile or a death stare.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 18, 2017
A picture's worth 1,000 words unless it's my kid's picture then it's worth at least 10,000.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) July 12, 2017
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