See the funny parenting tweets that have us laughing this week.
See more funny parenting tweets.
Me: I just want to be the center of someone's universe
Also me: Not like that
— Veruca Salty (@mommywhitfield) July 22, 2017
My son said "I'm hungry" and I didn't respond "Hi, hungry, I'm Daddy." so the Dad Police came and took away my grill.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 14, 2017
95% of summertime parenting is just reapplying sunscreen.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) July 30, 2017
My wife and I buy mostly organic foods for our son, so our kitchen garbage has the healthiest bags of uneaten food ever.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) July 28, 2017
Netflix and chil…dren.
Because letting them watch TV in the morning is the only way I can get a little extra sleep.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 30, 2017
WIFE: Don't go into the ball pit with the kids. You always lose your keys.
ME: *already in the ball pit* You're not going to believe this.
— Please Be Nice To The Fragile Pale Space Rider (@truegritrumble) September 1, 2016
Me: We're going to a birthday party.
3-year-old: I had my birthday.
Me: It's someone else's birthday.
3: They're copying me.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 29, 2017
Camping with kids sounds fun until you realize it's camping with kids.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) July 31, 2017
My toddler angrily told me she'll "ask Santa" for the shoes I wouldn't buy.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) July 20, 2017
Let's get married & have kids so instead of enjoying brunch on Sunday you can get syrup out of hair while I scrape the burnt off of toast.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 30, 2017
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